How to set goals and create the life that you want

Let’s start by asking what is one goal that you love creating for yourself so much that you have created it multiple times? Do you have a goal you have made more than three times? 

Sometimes we set goals, fail to meet them and end up feeling discouraged.

You're in the right place if you are finally ready to make goals work for you and step into being the most passionate version of yourself. 

In this article I’ll cover:

1. How to discover your unique vision for your most passionate self

2. Three hidden challenges in goal setting 

3. Seven ways to create energy-filled goals that makes passion-filled living easy

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How to discover your unique vision for your most passionate self

Think back, when was a specific time that you noticed your passion coming out? This was a time where you felt most deeply about something, and easily moved forward. You were focused and determined, regardless of the challenges that came up. 

Now take yourself back there, and notice what you looked like, how you stood, your posture, the look on your face, and any other details that feel important. Jot that down. How close is this to what you would like to feel now? 

Ok, now imagine you are already having what you want. How does this feel? 

What difference would this make in your life if this was you now? 

What feels most important about that?

What would unfold as a result?

What else would open up for you?

What would you be able to do?

What is the best part about that?

Summarize your vision. As my most passionate self, I am ................ I feel ............... I have ............ I am surrounded by ...................

The most important part about me stepping into this person is .................... What else is important? What about this is important? What about this is important? Keep going until you find a why that contributes to others and hits you emotionally.

 Three hidden challenges to goal setting.

Which of these feels most like it gets in your way?

Goal Setting Challenge #1
Not enough emotion. As business people, we tend to talk about goal setting in terms of SMART goals. Are you familiar with this? SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely. Even if you follow this to the T, the journey can end up feeling flat and emotionless, which makes it feel like slow torture and a recipe for disengagement. 

Goal Setting Challenge #2
Too much fearful emotion. When we get attached to the goal, rather than the steps to get there, we can set ourselves up to feel unhappy. For example, if you think, "only when I get to this, will I be happy", what happens to the journey? How likely are you to feel motivated to do all that work that is needed to get to your leadership goal? Most of us can use this gap and that pressure to give ourselves a kick in the ass for a while but eventually that falls apart. Feeling that gap, feeling that unpleasant pressure, is not sustainable. Some don't even set goals because it makes them feel this lack, the gap that just is too much, that pressure to fill the gap. Why is that? Because the brain needs pleasure to create habit loops! 

Goal Setting Challenge #3.
You haven't given yourself permission to feel that good. It’s really common for people to feel that life doesn't work that way, you can't feel that good.  Why does this happen to good people? At some point in your life, the fact is, that someone important to you told you this, or a similar version of this. It may have sounded like: "life is full of sacrifice," "you can't have it all" or "it has to feel hard to be worthwhile." This has rooted you in a belief that there is a limit to how good you can feel.

7 ways to create energy-filled goals that makes passion-filled living easy

  1. Create space systematically and structurally. When you bring something new in, you must have space for it. It’s like furnishing a house. You don't bring in a new living room set before removing your existing one! Imagine how silly that would look and how crowded that would feel. When you make space for the new, you get to enjoy the full benefit of what it brings.

  2. Sensory based outcomes. This is about connecting, with all of your senses, what the experience will be like to already be achieving your ideal state. Feel the emotion of the final product right now.  For example, if you want to be promoted to a higher-level position, get vividly aware of what you would see in yourself and others. Do you see yourself dressed differently? Carrying yourself differently with others? Continue imagining through all your senses. What do you feel? Calm? Confident? Sharp? What do you hear? Your voice lower pitched? Steady? When you are radiating at the "vibrational state" of your new reality, it becomes easy to attract it and stay there.

  3. A why that will make you cry. Your motivating factor, when stronger than the fear, will be what will keep you passionate, focused and on your path when life gets in the way. For example, losing weight or making more money rarely has to do with simply looking better or buying more, when you uncover the deeper layers, there is always a reason that wells emotion. Perhaps it is so you can feel more confident, be noticed by your spouse again, feel that deep connection that you used to feel, or fall in love again. Or perhaps money will give you a sense of accomplishment, will garner respect from your parents, and finally feel the approval and love that you have been craving all of your life. 

  4. Anchors. These are frequent every day to remind you why all this work is so worth it! For example … a family photo on your nightstand reminds you why you want to live a long and healthy life with those you love. The scent of your dad's aftershave might remind you of the integrity that you dad lived by. Your favorite high school song might remind you of the unstoppable feeling you want to get back to. 

  5. Focus on systems and actions rather than the goal itself. 100% commitment to the goal by following through on the actions with 0% attachment to the goal. For example if your goal is to attain a certain skillset, focus on studying or practicing for a certain period of time each day. For example, when you are looking to grow your reach to the world to 100,000 people, you want to focus on 10 genuine and authentic impactful weekly connections one person at a time. If you focused on the 100,000 people goal, the person across of you may end up just feeling like a number on your path, which would actually end up decreasing your impact.

  6. Ensure the actions are within your control. For example, as tempting as it is to create actions like this one - "I will secure 1 referral partner each month" - that leaves you frustrated if you don't have the result and doesn't let you focus on the action at hand, it is better to create actions like this one "I will invite five potential referral partners each week". This goal is entirely within your control and has a clear metric of success.

  7. Reframe mindset to being happy right now, relaxing into the knowing that if we desire it, we believe that what we want already exists within ourselves and we are simply fattening that part of us up. We can enjoy that right now. How do you feel when you think, "My desire is there waiting for me, and I can enjoy being happy on the journey to getting there every step of the way." Feels pretty good doesn't it? Choose that mindset, and you will not only enjoy the ride, but you will get there far more quickly.  

My Goal Setting Story

I would consider myself a super goal setter! I have actually followed through quite consistently on lots of my goals. For example, I've gone from hating running to running my first marathon in a year. I had a traumatic experience with water, leading to a fear of water and slight claustrophobia. ButI stepped into that fear, got my diving certification and had an incredible experience in Bahamas diving with sharks and caving. I also completed my MBA after dropping out of my Bachelor of Commerce program. I have had success with achieving some big goals. 

However if I'm really honest with myself, I have had FAR MORE experiences failing to follow through. There are some big ones like not completing my Bachelor of Commerce program, and a whole lot of nagging little ones - getting those important photos in photobooks, getting back my strength, cleaning out the garage, finally getting my file system in order, consistent meal planning, keeping things clean, making my mark on this world. Every time I was reminded of these things, I became even more deflated and spiraled to thinking I am just not good enough to follow through. Can you relate?

Or do you regularly achieve your goals but feel empty afterwards? I remember that moment when I got my MBA. After 18 months of 45 hours of study time on top of my full-time job. I was ready to feel accomplished and get that promotion and earn a ton of money. YET, all I felt was emptiness, and realization that this was exactly what I didn’t want - to be an executive of a corporation. 

The journey had felt hard and full of sacrifice because it was so much time away from my kids and a $50,000 investment. Having completed the MBA, I felt even worse about myself because I got what I wanted, but somehow, I was not happy. 

This led me to wonder, how am I going to make enough progress if I'm only following through on a fraction of my goals and I feel empty and still unhappy even when I do complete them?

That's when I found discovered a radically different way of setting goals and achieving them. I began working with a coach, and, in a matter of weeks, I felt massive clarity, energy and momentum. I was working from the inside out through my beliefs and feelings to unlock the exact path that I needed to take and that felt authentically me. 

Now decisions feel easier, actions flow, and I follow through in a more connected way, knowing that it is true to my authentic self. I feel like I can see my life's purpose in front of me, and I feel more confident and happy taking consistent action towards that purpose. That means, less wasted energy and emotional drain! That means more energy to put towards the actual work, the time for self care, fun with my loved ones, and building the life I want, which keeps my passion amp'd up!

Could I have moved forward without coaching? Sure, probably, but at a fraction of the pace and satisfaction, and to be honest, I'm not sure if I would have connected to my deep passions the way I have with coaching.

Do you feel 100% confident to use this radically effective goal setting to step into your most passionate self right now?

If that would be a bit of a struggle, it’s because we've actually left out three key ingredients that put all of this together. Without these three ingredients, we stay in the same patterns and repeat the same old behaviours that keep us stuck. Some will do really well for a little while, get some new information, renew our commitment to follow through, take consistent action for a week or two, convince ourselves, this time is going to be different, then what happens? Motivation fizzles and we fall off track. 

How many of you know what to do but don't always do it? Because knowing is not enough, it doesn't motivate us into action. We don't need more information, we do need to make this time different, The three key ingredients that bring this all together are the right system, support and accountability.

I would like to invite you to a free initial BEST YOU Discovery Call with me where we expand on building your crystal-clear vision for your BEST YOU. This 60-minute private consultation will also get you clear on hidden obstacles that are holding you back. 

Would you like to hear some real client stories?

I had a client who came to me feeling stuck in a rut, her brain felt foggy, she was becoming less and less active, and feeling increasingly overwhelmed with all her responsibilities at work, family life, and her volunteer work. Most disappointing was that her big dreams felt like they were slipping away." After only four weeks her brain cleared up, and she started running and gardening again. After six weeks she ran her best 10km time ever. 

Another client came to me as an overwhelmed mother of an autistic child. She felt lost and wondering what to do next. She was stuck in a rut and dreaded going to the gym, even though she knew she would feel better if she did. She spent hundreds on programs that she didn't follow through on, and her confidence was taking a hit after her divorce and being off of work. Most disappointingly, her big dreams of being a successful professional started to feel more and more out of reach. 

She got sick of the back and forth struggle. She knew that she could not do it on her own and she reached out to me. After each session, she reported feeling a surge of possibility and energy. She was amazed that she could free herself from blocks that she had lived with for more than 15 years. And she is thrilled that she could show up ready to accept a position at her dream company at WestJet. She said it would not have been possible without this program. She was most amazed at the impact on her relationship, son, and her career. 

When we completed her journey she said, "Two months ago, I would have said, ‘That's crazy, it's impossible.’ Having these results really does feel like winning a lottery."

What makes my program unique is that we focus on what you get to have rather than what you don't. Suffering to get to your goals doesn't make sense. I want to inspire to reclaim your body, your thoughts, and your life in a way that is sustainable, natural and fun.

Clients tell me I am an intuitive empathetic coach that brings practical solutions to real everyday struggles, so they can feel massive momentum to move forward with their goals. 

If you're ready for the system, support and accountability that is going to make this work like nothing else you've tried, then I invite you to a free BEST YOU Discovery session.

If you say yes to experiencing at least one major aha to break out of the run and get into action, book your free discovery call here.